blogging karna mera haq hain..!

for those who don't believe me.. have uploaded a pic of mine,the largest pair of goggles & tricycle

After a very exciting streak of blog writing ,poster writing and writing creative broadcast emails,today I contemplate on why do I write blogs.I mean for me writing down what I think and feel about my life comes as frequently as susoo to a kid who had drank a lot of water and every other second says "mummy sussoo aaya hain"."Aab kya karu". I just cant live my life alone .I am not used to it .People around me have this misconception about me that I am very quite "kisam ka ladka" but then I would say they know me as little as they know whose kid is Britney Spears bearing this time.I am sure a few friends of mine must be calling me a liar but atleast on the "wats goin on in life" front I cant live it alone!! aab kya stamp paper pe likh ke du .!

This thought was invoked in me by a female friend of mine.Very few people(females) have taken interest in me and my interests.Incidentally and formally she becomes the first person to comment on my blogs. A very serious comment of course and I was thinking I was making people people cry through my Gulzar type of writing in my last blog.The first casual comment on my blog said "123", seems like some one on blog spot wanted to know how comments here worked and tried a test comment."Are mera blog hi mila tha kya !!". Therefore I make Deepa the first person to comment sensibly infact too sensible on my blog.Thank you !.Now dont expect me to sign a blank cheuque and give it to you.You will have to be content with a sign of gratitude.

Yea, So where were we .Yes this female friend of mine remarked after she got a long broadcast e mail from me .She remarked

"So u like writing down stuff is it ??????"

for a moment she caught me unaware and yes tricked me into sipping the hot coffee too that burnt my tongue.ouch!!!!

I love keeping people informed about myself.I want my friends to take as much as interest in me as I have in them.Life is too boring alone.Though I have lived most of my life making fun trips and outings alone and suitable company is always I had looked for.For me the very thought of connecting with people is as electrifying as the whole electricity and the short circuit process goes.
I write blogs for a few friends of mine who might get murdered the "psycho"(chocalate sauce)style but then wouldn't call my name even if I was just a phone call away or at the door ringing the bell during one of those many univited vistis to their house.But then they are my friends and I think my blogs might give them the "being-electrocuted-to-mohit" kind of experience.There are a few whose reactions to my mails and sms is as cold as the stares of the security guard of infosys who gives it to me every morning when he sees me holding the days new paper in one hand and a whole lot of magazines and newpapers in my bag that he checks every other day.His feelings are mixed,he stares cos he does not like going through the same "rathi" of my bag and then gets confused when he glances at my faded id card and the present days news paper in my hands as infosyss' lobbies are all armed with news papers of three different agencies."aab kya kare hum todae ajeeb type ke person hain" .Now I am not gonna put the "old is gold" kinda crap .My interest in editions of old newspapers is same as me writing blogs about my life and things that I observe in this duniya.Going through the stale news revives and re-charges those duracell type of cells of my brain throwing me back to the times when I was a kid and used to ride a tri-cycle sporting a hero kind of look in the biggest pair of goggles(* for thos who don't believe me.. have uploaded a pic of mine,the largest pair of goggles).In other words makes me feel nostalgic.

Its similiar to the feeling of mine wherein I get attached to a few scents and sights of past times and keep reviving them by invoking "yadeein" type of recursive function again and again .I write blogs to give people a hint of my present and past.You might call my self as self centric but then I like talking about my self and I know to how many poor "naris" of this India I have been a support to,who themselves feel I am not self centric.Like the one who was giving me a lecture of travelling wisely when I was struggling to remove my shoes as I wanted to wet my legs in a stream of water flowing and she was wearing slippers and was feeling quite easy.I wanted to tell her "Hey lady you might have traveled wisely but not light".she was carrying a bag that was big enough to hold a person's dead body,the bag being heavy and she not being able to carry it gave me scares that sure she might have murdered someone and stuffed him into the bag and it was poor me and my team mate who carried it all through the journey of hers.

Never write a blog in two different sessions.Always finish it at one shot when the thoughts are flowing out of you just like emotions out of the poor Indian cricketers.I guess I still haven't answered the question "y do i write blog" . Its a feeling that is beyond explanations is what i feel now.Its the person you are and irrespective of the fact that some one else might construe it in a different fashion.I write cos I feel the need of it cos I get impressed and affected by each an every other thing that happens in my life and that I want to share it some one I know .I like the fact that I am discovering myself and me writing it down just gives a feeling of me celebrating myself as a person and that I do live life to the fullest.Please let me know if those lines struck a chord with you.As I like meeting like minded people.

I know for some it might turn out to be a boring reading of all those ten million things I crib about but then its my blog and blogging karna merna birth right hain !!!!

Bus journeys not this time re..!!!!!!

Its 4 am in chennai an I have just passed the examination of Hosur-se-Kahi-bi-ki journey degree.I can practically get to anywhere in Tamil Nadu from Hosur with out anybody's help ,feels like I have matured into an adult finally.Now this adult feeling has pushed me doing weird things.The last time I visited Sarvanna Bhavan in Chennai I had actually ordered for a Dosa and coffee(true south Indian slice) and helped myself to the nearest table, the thing that I noticed as I took a big bite was my fella eaters had all been 60 yr old uncles and aunties who were happy to see me sharing a table with them.I know the thing that would have made them happy would have been the orthodox,the slow style of my thinking and my old fashioned exercising and getting-up early habit(incidentally their old fashioned attire matched mine).I am sure I would have pushed them too far in making them believe that I am just a younger version of the "GUY NEXT DOOR" of their times.The iyer aunty next to me toh would fallen in love with me if not for my fast eating habits,I would have never escaped her love showering fiasco.I sometimes feel that I am too slow an individual for this fast world.When it comes to changing with changing times I am even slower than the tortoise or the innocent Vajapayee in spilling out his speech.Sometimes in moment of silence and loneliness I just hold my breath to see whether i can commit suicide, that way atleast for being such a slow individual."Aab Kya kare jab yeh duniya hame raas nahi aaya.sauch raha hu ki JUPITER pe me aur Priety Zinta nahi duniya basayege".

Ticketless travels,and unreserved compartments of trains n buses,dinning with the oldies have become my style now.The people with whom I work now are all living from the time of stone age.I mean they are all married and the younger team mates i dont identify with their so called professional jokes.An example of a professional joke

Me:(In a spirited mood ) Hi , today is tuesday na
Teammates:No today is today(peels of laughter)

Me: Hi, wats up(another day)
Teammates :for now we cant see the sky...... fan(peels of laughter)
Team mates:ceiling( roaring laughter)
Teamates: smoke detector(peels of laughter again)
me: bewildered as ever ............

Therefore for this sole reason me and my batch mates have dedicated our lives to our seniors who themselves talk so professional that they might land up with a job in MICROSOFT if Bill Gates had by mistake eavesdropped on their talk.Now the one thing that me and my dost log have understood after being a part of the professional world is that the only way to impress your PMs and the professional looking girls of any company is to talk profession things.

Yesterady,we nearly spat our food out during the lunch break as we laughed our ways to glory.Suddenly my friend notices one of the big shots eating on the neary by table .He struck a professioanl conversation out of the blue.

My friend: (Raising his left eye brow)Did u fill up the DART(dart is filled every monday and it was thrusday ,too late to fill up DART)
Me:Do u mean the "Daily Activity Reporting Tool" and my spectales slid down on my nose in true professional style as I looked at my friend through the gap between the spectales and my forehead.
My freind : oh Yes,How many points did the share market of Mongolia lost yesterady.I have invested a lot in these Mongolians.Though my friend knows that the last progressive individual of the mogolian race had been chengiz Khan ,he still talks non-sense in his so called"hi-fi" English just to impress the girl sitting on a table near by.

Most of the times I am left like the "anath" foothfall which is kicked around by the street kids from one place to another.The older people think I am mature as I spend a lot of time with them and try reflecting their mature feelings but they still dont know wat a kid I have been to my mom asking her permission even to go to the toilet.To add upon all these we might be making a pleasure trip to a hill station near Bangalore.Hope it turns out to be fun.

I just came back from lunch.Now eating a "sabgi of gheeya" and "chane ki dal" over a Govinda's serious movie can be very hazardous to your memory.I have lost all my thoughts that i had for this blog and drifted entirely in a different direction.My adventurous bus journey has become a thing of past,and I have suddenly found direction to my slow and othordox life as I saw Govinda bombarding STAR UTSAV with his "parental-advisory" dialogues and pensive expressions.My grand ma is looking as seroius as the herione of the movie and my mom is back home seeing the re-runs of these 80's style of movies for her time pass and I have found a mate in her in this slow life of mine.

The point is I too would become old some day and the point to be noted Me LORD that one can learn a lot from people older to you.They have this invaluable thing to offer which is other wise called "EXPERIENCE".so "bhai log and aap ki bhen log" can learn a lot from me as I share a major part of life with them. Kya blog hain... chahtha tha likna kuch aur ,likha kuch aur!!!!... anyways stay tuned for the next one !!!!

Of train jouneys,mom and Jagjit Singh

Its high time Laluji decided to award me with a "sone ka kullad" (for all those south Indian bros and sisters a "kullad" is small clay pot) for the revenues that i am generating with my travelling from Bangalore to Chennai and chennai to bangalore.The whole of last week I travelled up and down met strange people on my journey .With some I was able to strike serious conversation and to the others I escaped giving them wrong impressions about me , like the old man sittin near me in the 3 rd class compartment of the train nearly believed that I am an automobile engineer from UK and the sophisticated bag that i was carrying was filled with pounds.On the whole it has been tiring and to flaunt around with a "bechara" look i sport a beard now.

Well the main reason for my exhaustive travelling was my mom.She being unwell and so i rushed from Bangalore to chennai just to meet her in pure "Kabhi kushi kabhi Gham" way .SRK style,I mean; only to be greeted by the auto walas of chennai and thanks to chennai bandh these drivers were talking to me in English and asking money in dollars and pounds.Its tough being an IT professional on the finanacial front especially if you are just a simple science graduate.

1) The whole world from your GF to the milk man to the land Lord thinks that you hold so much cash that even the flush of ur toilet is filled with "noto ki gadi".In other words "smuggler samajhte hain yaar IT walo ko "

2) The unearthly timings of this profession-I have forgotten the dates and what time of the day is it and when;I wish the Americans "good morning" when its our night and "good night" when its our day .I write my date of birth in mm/dd/yy format only to be mocked by my friends as NRI mohit.

So, similar to SRK getting down from his helicopter and running on the magnificent lawn of his home I was running fom general wards to ICU looking for my mom in the hospital and yes if ur imagining me in the same manner pls go ahead an do so as i dint get a minute to change my formal wear and yes my formal wear includes a BLACK TIE.

Now these ladies' wards and the these ladies' ailments can be very tricky.As i run through the corridors, the cries of the small babies echo into my ears and to complement this conflict of thoughts that errupted; is the expected stares that the nurses give to a young man like me in suit and boot thinking I am the father of some crying baby in the hospital and a jawan mard to a jawan lady, the only words that didn't drop into my ever alert ears were "mubarak ho aap ko ladaki paida hui he" and even in a moment of imagination if it had happened , the confusion I was in i would have fallen on my kness with joy only to realise that " arey yar abhi toh meri shaadi bhi nahi hui hain"

However I find my mom in the best of health chatting with the nurse and offering the aaya tips about cleaniness.Now here is a perfect lady who has the so called "tarika" in doing each an everything at home .No matter how perfect she is ,she has a contradictory character at home and that is my sister.As the week progressed ,it became tough to manage 15 hrs of work and trips to hospital in chennai.Now, overnight stays in hospital can be very traumatic and strenuous for people who cannot adjust.Well, I never faced probs with the adjusting part but like always I faced problems with my strong sense of old memories.The stay became more and more traumatic as i found myself in the same position as I was a year ago and this time it was worse the only person who was my strength at that time was now herself unconscious.The worst part is you cannot pour out your emotions to anyone in this zalim duniya cause then u start falling back on them and become weak and end up in a mess if the same person becomes dis-trustful.The other person might have his own reason but then one cant fight the feeling of "being used" .

Anyways bahut ho gaya emotion ka dose, All this has helped to transform me into a Sundar Susheel Ladki ready for marriage.Now dont jump to conclusions,it was not me who underwent any secret operation(SICK MINDS U PPL HAVE)It was my mother, I am just trying to say that it has been a great experience serving mom,right from the first day after operation when i started feeding her till date when i put an arm around her to bring her to sit.I now know that its tough being a woman and I now know how much my mother would have served my dad.For some reason this post is turning out to be more sentimental than i expected. Aab to man kara raha hain ki aasu ka waterfall banadu.For all those jhatka type girls if ur thinking that u can catch hold of me just cos i can wash clothes and vessels and can do anything what a "Bhartiya Nari" can do then take a chill pill and relax cos I aint making a mistake.

To inject more emotions to my veins I have suddenly started listening to Mehndi Hassan and Jagjit Singh again.For all those guys/girls who put up this fake mask and show as if they like Iron Maiden and Deep Purple and other metal bands,chill and try doing some bhangra now and then,it might remind you of your roots.I mean, the genre of music one listens is directly proportional to the person's liking towards it.One can't listen to Rock and metal just cos one likes being the so called "SO COOL DUDE!!!".Recently,I had one of my friends very impressively remarking about my interest in western music but then i dont consider it cool anyways. for eg look at this lyrics dont they give you a "hi" in emotions or atleast strike a chord with anyone listening to it."yeh daulat bhi lelo ,yeh shoharat bhi lelo ,bhala chinlo mujhse se meri jawaani .... magar mujhko lauta do woh bachpan ki batein woh baraish ka pani woh kagaz ki kasti".Wonderful lyrics.

Well the point I wanted to prove was I listen to music to which i can relate to "aur main sina tok kar kai saktha hu ki main gazal bhi sunata hu".Bolo jagjit sing ki jai"

Title ka kya karna......

Some people in this world think I am a sadist and one of those guys who spits bitter thoughts on papers and blogs as well.Well loneliness can do great damages to one self esteem and a bitter fight with the best friend and the only trusted friend that you have in this big city called bengaluru can leave your thoughts and emotions scattered just like the BJP party of today.The other friends of mine expect me to be as cheerful as ever but then "fake behavior " is not one of things that my parents have taught me.Arey bhai jab mann kharab ho toh kya muh pe hasi lekar ghoomtha rahooo kya!!!.Sometimes I sit an contemplate as how these actors and actresses inspite of facing so many problems that lead to immense mental trauma try to spill emotions on the screen.Talking of spilling emotions,dont every try doing it in a fight with a loved one, it might be construed in as many ways as possible .The other person might think that you are trying to hurt him/her back else will just get mad at you for playing the "blame game".It is rather advisable to stay calm an silent if you are peace loving person and you really care for the other person do stay silent if its worth the pain.

Suddenly I find a lot of similarity between the events that are takin place in my life and Indian politics both so confusing and so cruel that leave the outsiders wondering and unable to construe them.Suddely the best of the outings and even my new hair cut fail to pump up my mood simply cause I feel like i am missing something and I know that me getting that thing or even desiring one wouldn't help as it purely does not depend upon my choices.To add to my woes are the [V] trailers,the repeated telecasts of these trailers make me go mad sometimes specially when I am sitting near the person whom I fought just minutes back an cursing my self under my breath as why i let such a thing happen that is when the trailers re-appear again to haunt me just like those obstinate spirits of horror movies.

Fights with a person whom you like can make you feel more tensed and nervous than a school kid appearing for his board exams.All the rules of joy and sorrow sharing does not seem to be working specially when you do not want these things to be shared with anyone cause the third person might end up passing his/her own judgements on u or ur friend.What does one do, pretty simple situation for the one not involved.However being in such a painful situation in itself is an endeavour to be praised and from the pain are born the bitter chain of thoughts that blast the ones involved an cause more damage than a nuclear blasts would have done physically.
If only people who advise me to forget everything also provide me with a shot on my head so that i suffer from "short term memory loss" i could do a lot more good to myself today by forgetting what happend just hours back and what triggered it.Diverting one's mind to other things and passions in life does help but then when both ur heart an mind fail to deviate from the path of sadness an pain ,little is there that one can do to and ofcourse resorts to bring out a third force to bring one self out of the mess he has got himself into.I divert my attention to the TV in the room only to get back to the [V] trailers this time even more distressing with those UK returned sardarji's fiddling with woman in their videos.Cant some one stop them from falaunting around with their money and most importantly cant some one stop this feeling inside me cause i cant fight it anymore.

In the end i guess if you do not have any one to fall back on or understand your emotions you can always turn to "Mr.Time".He oints our wounds and as the time passes by one might also forget the grudges and the fights,people are forgiven and the friends who once thought they were of wavelenths as different as Brad Pitt and Vajapayee might find something in common and therefore I wait for that day cause i hate giving up on people and myself and I hate spilling my venomous thoughts like these on blogs.

As I told you earlier you spilling out ur emotions during an argument can be interpreted in many different ways.You might end up hurting the other person by playing the blame game but then you need to tell the other person how do you feel about things.This is a very tricky position for a person like me who is not good at arguing and therefore I end up saying things that i shouldn't instead of proving the point that needs to be.I feel so horrible also because all this happened in amidst India loosing against Sri lanka and erasing its hopes to enter the super eighth of this world cup 2007.Indian batsmens' presence at the crease have suddenly become so rare that even before we know that Indian innings have started they seems to have lost 6-7 wickets.Now everybody cant be as confident as Rakhi Sawant in the miniest(i hope there is superlative degree like that) of skirts.There is too much pressure on Indian cricketers.This sport can drive people crazy.Its us that have to understand that such conditions are not favourable for our players.I felt so sad for Rahul Dravid who seemed to be crying at the award function after the sri lankan win.I can myself feel the pressure on the shoulders of the Indian bowlers when they get hit for 6 by 17 yrs old lad of Bangaladesh.Its very natural to loose and win but its creates immense pressure when such losses and wins are taken as a prestige for a team.I seriously think that our team lost cos of the immense pressure and expectations of the Indian crowd.So i again spill out my bitterness on this blog rather than spilling out to one of my friends who might hold some other opinion .Aab aap apne opinion apne paas rakho.... agar kuch bolne ke liye ho toh i suggest u make a blog of ur own an start writing off your feelings.

And for all those who criticize my new hair cut ... Take a chill pill cause for the first time i personally feel that the new hair cut has given me self-esteem boost, though some of them might be laughing at me from inside but i just dont care. and for the sole daring reason i shall update this blog with a photo of mine later when i feel like.!!!!!

Rendez-vous Loneliness?

Loneliness can be pretty harsh sometimes, specially when you are looking for the right person (I hope u've got the sign) and your surrounded by people who are not of your type. Well as far as adjusting factor is concerned one can always laugh around with room mates and office mates but then a "friend" and an enjoyable "company" is hard to find in a city where one is as new as a 2 day old baby to the world. At present I sing the anthem of loneliness " mera jeevan Kora kaagaz kora hi reh gaya...." hoping my life would change for the good, I sit and contemplate sometimes. Sometimes it becomes very difficult for me to undergo a change specially when I am going through joyful times but then sometimes I long for a change so much that I am capable of doing crazy things, obviously mood swings always accompany these restless times of mine, for an eg.today I had a strange mood swing and I found myself wanting to smooch the first girl I saw in my work area. Well I was just exaggerating I was talking about the moods when you desperately need something or some one in life but then you are ignorant of what u need or what u wanna see in the specific person .

I feel pretty bored nowdays, to add to my woes is the repetitive work that I do in my office area. Software Testing can be very boring specially when you are 21 yrs old ,a graduate and are testing links which a 5th grader would be more happier to do it and would do it with utmost perfection. I mean do the client of the company realize how much money they drain out on jacks like us who sit here the whole day and test links .They might as well take customer complaints or regulate the application among their employees who might in turn report back with defect writing them down and submitting them along wit their daily activity reports. I am more than surprised when I listen to the facts that some of us are actually billed for more than 20 dollars /hr by the client for doing a job that would put a monkey's typing skills to shame. All this comes along with another surprise gift, a gift that every client would like, a gift that describes the companies policies of maintaining a person in a project for 1.5 years compulsorily, so that the company’s reputation is built from the client perspective and we go through the daily routine of testing links for another one and a half yrs. “khatin zindagi hain bhai..... pet ka mamla he ... kaam to karna padega.”

Well I have deviated from the path of loneliness I guess. Last to last week I had gone for a movie, ALONE, mind you, no girlfriend, no friend no one. In a city like Bangalore where people are not racist but still see with eyes of contempt if you come to movie with out a girl or any other company. I was looked upon as untouchable, schedule caste, dalit, black slave, aborigine (I have run out of words) until I got into the darkness of the cinema hall. Well one good thing is, if you are a bachelor and have no girl friend, you can always save those extra currency notes by not buying a balcony ticket ,in a city like Bangalore where movie tickets can range anywhere from 100 to 500 ,taking a girl along can surely make you feel u've had a whole in your pocket. Moreover u can also save on those expensive eatables and stuff an be satisfied with a glass of cola or just treat your self with butter popcorn(every dog has its day) .However doing all these things for the one you love and die for once in a while is “advisable”(I am sure if I hadn't been a tester I would have at least landed up as a as assistant to a doctor if not a doctor).So me being "single and watched" trauma dint end with me reaching my seat .I was made to feel even more like an outcast(who said my vocabulary is bad I have found another word.) .My movements, were confined, curbed ,stopped, restricted to a very small place called my chair cause on each side I had a boundary drawn by two heavy, bulky Handsome(so say their girl friends-obviously eavesdropped)hulks. Each one showing me his 20 inch biceps by heavily thrusting it on the common arm rest of the chair. India needs good engineers, It surprises me as why in theaters chairs are provided with common armrests, I am sure there are always better ways to save money on construction of theatres,you wont be surprise if someday the cinema hall owner came up with a maddening idea of having common bathrooms for ladies and gents. The whole of the movie I had to sit without moving a muscle even when I saw Govinda trying to speak in his broken English to a foreigner. The nightmare does not stop here, I was also supposed not to complain to the guards about those watchful glares that the men who had made my day till now were giving me .When ever I shuffled in my seat or even itched or re-set my hair I was welcome by glares from both sides, the men were like the soldiers guarding their frontiers and I seemed to be their enemy, ready to plunder their property (jealous guys!!! kya kare bhagwaanji ne mughe itna handsome banake ghalti kar di) ;)
.The only consolation was the movie, ofcourse a love movie and was dealt beautifully and in the end left me satisfied and erased a few bitter memories of the being "single & watched " trauma.


Well I am very adamant person and I don’t learn but my inability to learn or the lack of learnability skills turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Last week I had gone to watch the WTA tour which concluded recently in Bangalore. I had taken a friend cum roommate along with me to watch Sania play, ignorant of the fact that Sania had already lost the day before, Well I blame it on the village (ppl who know where I live in Bangalore would surely know which area am referring to) where I live in a two bedroom hut, is void of newspapers. The other day I searched the whole village and found no shop that could provide me with an English newspaper. I consoled myself that I might get to see better matches even though the second seed was already out of the tourney. The night mare starts here. The first question that my friend posed to me as soon as we entered the stadium was "why do Tennis balls have to be in green color and not red as in the case of cricket”. If you are finding it hard to believe let me pose another question which I encountered during the dreadful evening. At what exact hour do you think the matches will get over”? I was telling myself ,only If I could do match fixing with Maria Sainteaglo to finish her opponent off without giving her a set I would have been happy to return home early rather than me being bombarded with so many bomb shells. During the course of the match my condition progressed from bad to worse, the person near me would had already guessed by seeing my face that I was having a stomach upset only if I could tell him what I was undergoing. My friend found the tennis players sexy rather than their play. He was amused by the fact that tennis players (woman) used their underpants to hold the extra tennis balls (perverted minds-I am pure eh!!).However I dint loose hope and taught my friend the ABCD of tennis and the scoring system of which I am myself not sure of. Though my mind was constantly disturbed, shuttling my attention towards the match and also answering the never ending questions of my friend who eventually found out that I have deep respect for the sport and would not praise any perverted remarks of his. I realized that though I ended up feeling proud that I had explained the basics of tennis to an ignorant one, patiently I would rather go alone if I hadn’t had the proper company. I am no Einstein who knows everything but then few things like respect for any sport and etiquettes are very important, would be happy to teach a person who had a bit of respect for what was being taught.

Birds of same feather flock together. One might share a moment or two of joy or sadness with a colleague or an acquaintance or a room mate or with a not so close friend but good company and deep friendships grows among like minded people and more importantly gives life a whole new experience of satisfaction and completeness.