Rendez-vous Loneliness?

Loneliness can be pretty harsh sometimes, specially when you are looking for the right person (I hope u've got the sign) and your surrounded by people who are not of your type. Well as far as adjusting factor is concerned one can always laugh around with room mates and office mates but then a "friend" and an enjoyable "company" is hard to find in a city where one is as new as a 2 day old baby to the world. At present I sing the anthem of loneliness " mera jeevan Kora kaagaz kora hi reh gaya...." hoping my life would change for the good, I sit and contemplate sometimes. Sometimes it becomes very difficult for me to undergo a change specially when I am going through joyful times but then sometimes I long for a change so much that I am capable of doing crazy things, obviously mood swings always accompany these restless times of mine, for an eg.today I had a strange mood swing and I found myself wanting to smooch the first girl I saw in my work area. Well I was just exaggerating I was talking about the moods when you desperately need something or some one in life but then you are ignorant of what u need or what u wanna see in the specific person .

I feel pretty bored nowdays, to add to my woes is the repetitive work that I do in my office area. Software Testing can be very boring specially when you are 21 yrs old ,a graduate and are testing links which a 5th grader would be more happier to do it and would do it with utmost perfection. I mean do the client of the company realize how much money they drain out on jacks like us who sit here the whole day and test links .They might as well take customer complaints or regulate the application among their employees who might in turn report back with defect writing them down and submitting them along wit their daily activity reports. I am more than surprised when I listen to the facts that some of us are actually billed for more than 20 dollars /hr by the client for doing a job that would put a monkey's typing skills to shame. All this comes along with another surprise gift, a gift that every client would like, a gift that describes the companies policies of maintaining a person in a project for 1.5 years compulsorily, so that the company’s reputation is built from the client perspective and we go through the daily routine of testing links for another one and a half yrs. “khatin zindagi hain bhai..... pet ka mamla he ... kaam to karna padega.”

Well I have deviated from the path of loneliness I guess. Last to last week I had gone for a movie, ALONE, mind you, no girlfriend, no friend no one. In a city like Bangalore where people are not racist but still see with eyes of contempt if you come to movie with out a girl or any other company. I was looked upon as untouchable, schedule caste, dalit, black slave, aborigine (I have run out of words) until I got into the darkness of the cinema hall. Well one good thing is, if you are a bachelor and have no girl friend, you can always save those extra currency notes by not buying a balcony ticket ,in a city like Bangalore where movie tickets can range anywhere from 100 to 500 ,taking a girl along can surely make you feel u've had a whole in your pocket. Moreover u can also save on those expensive eatables and stuff an be satisfied with a glass of cola or just treat your self with butter popcorn(every dog has its day) .However doing all these things for the one you love and die for once in a while is “advisable”(I am sure if I hadn't been a tester I would have at least landed up as a as assistant to a doctor if not a doctor).So me being "single and watched" trauma dint end with me reaching my seat .I was made to feel even more like an outcast(who said my vocabulary is bad I have found another word.) .My movements, were confined, curbed ,stopped, restricted to a very small place called my chair cause on each side I had a boundary drawn by two heavy, bulky Handsome(so say their girl friends-obviously eavesdropped)hulks. Each one showing me his 20 inch biceps by heavily thrusting it on the common arm rest of the chair. India needs good engineers, It surprises me as why in theaters chairs are provided with common armrests, I am sure there are always better ways to save money on construction of theatres,you wont be surprise if someday the cinema hall owner came up with a maddening idea of having common bathrooms for ladies and gents. The whole of the movie I had to sit without moving a muscle even when I saw Govinda trying to speak in his broken English to a foreigner. The nightmare does not stop here, I was also supposed not to complain to the guards about those watchful glares that the men who had made my day till now were giving me .When ever I shuffled in my seat or even itched or re-set my hair I was welcome by glares from both sides, the men were like the soldiers guarding their frontiers and I seemed to be their enemy, ready to plunder their property (jealous guys!!! kya kare bhagwaanji ne mughe itna handsome banake ghalti kar di) ;)
.The only consolation was the movie, ofcourse a love movie and was dealt beautifully and in the end left me satisfied and erased a few bitter memories of the being "single & watched " trauma.


Well I am very adamant person and I don’t learn but my inability to learn or the lack of learnability skills turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Last week I had gone to watch the WTA tour which concluded recently in Bangalore. I had taken a friend cum roommate along with me to watch Sania play, ignorant of the fact that Sania had already lost the day before, Well I blame it on the village (ppl who know where I live in Bangalore would surely know which area am referring to) where I live in a two bedroom hut, is void of newspapers. The other day I searched the whole village and found no shop that could provide me with an English newspaper. I consoled myself that I might get to see better matches even though the second seed was already out of the tourney. The night mare starts here. The first question that my friend posed to me as soon as we entered the stadium was "why do Tennis balls have to be in green color and not red as in the case of cricket”. If you are finding it hard to believe let me pose another question which I encountered during the dreadful evening. At what exact hour do you think the matches will get over”? I was telling myself ,only If I could do match fixing with Maria Sainteaglo to finish her opponent off without giving her a set I would have been happy to return home early rather than me being bombarded with so many bomb shells. During the course of the match my condition progressed from bad to worse, the person near me would had already guessed by seeing my face that I was having a stomach upset only if I could tell him what I was undergoing. My friend found the tennis players sexy rather than their play. He was amused by the fact that tennis players (woman) used their underpants to hold the extra tennis balls (perverted minds-I am pure eh!!).However I dint loose hope and taught my friend the ABCD of tennis and the scoring system of which I am myself not sure of. Though my mind was constantly disturbed, shuttling my attention towards the match and also answering the never ending questions of my friend who eventually found out that I have deep respect for the sport and would not praise any perverted remarks of his. I realized that though I ended up feeling proud that I had explained the basics of tennis to an ignorant one, patiently I would rather go alone if I hadn’t had the proper company. I am no Einstein who knows everything but then few things like respect for any sport and etiquettes are very important, would be happy to teach a person who had a bit of respect for what was being taught.

Birds of same feather flock together. One might share a moment or two of joy or sadness with a colleague or an acquaintance or a room mate or with a not so close friend but good company and deep friendships grows among like minded people and more importantly gives life a whole new experience of satisfaction and completeness.