“Where’s the party tonight” shouted an excited SH as he descended down from his bedroom, all dressed up with multiple coatings of coconut oil, talcum powder, fairness creams and of course his set–wet very, very sexy deo. And in the continuation he squeaked “On the dance floor” and skipped the last 2 steps to throw his back pack on the table, on a Friday morning. His excitement is justified. He becomes all this excited every Friday morning in expectance of a DJ night in Infy, in the evenings. And if everyone from our room confirms their presence this “lakshmi” of our house lights an agarbtahi, breaks a coconut and wakes up everyone in the morning in his uncanny excitement.
Take 1: Now this man of small frame has a very noticeable yet infamous dancing history. Year 1996, I guess (SH can you confirm?), class 8, at a tender age of 13, SH had the audience roaring to his dance steps, innovation in choreography took a new meaning in the dance books and SH was the pioneer. Such is the feat of the man who jogs more than a mile every DJ night (I hear the boing sound!! LOL). I mean he tries something of the sort of a moon walk but then to one dancing close by it appears like a jog on the treadmill. It’s his trademark step. The last time we had an excited SH dancing and singing along with the remix of Kajra re, me and NG had to take a step out and burst out laughing. SH had one hand on his ear and the other in the mid-air and went two steps close to a girl from BPO; with closed eyes he was imagining himself as Tansen singing a Bollywood number luckily he didn’t get slapped by the girl whom he offended. And the legend still dances unperturbed
Take 2: Flash back: GE, this fellow is known for his dynamic entries during DJ nights. Year 2006, our first job and our first DJ night in Infy. Me and NG managed to overcome our incapability and were swaying to the tunes of a slow number in a corner. GE jumped out of nowhere and did this dance of which we dint understand a thing. He went into a frenzied mode of fits, shaking every limb of his body, he was out of control and the dance didn’t match the pace of the slow number even remotely. The world came to a standstill, people on the dance floor froze not in amazement but in disturbance of GE’s insanity, the DJ went dead, the music stopped; suddenly we were the attention of the world and there was silence, NG stopped dancing but GE went on like a machine, with his head down, eyes closed, teeth chattering, body shivering, shoulder banging inwards, neck rotating 360deg dance. The atrocious act of insanity came to a sudden stop only when GE no longer felt the phone in his pocket, he had lost it. The scratch sound came back, the DJ was alive, the disc started spinning, GE came to a stand-still this time and men and women started to dance again after prolonged stares. And we spent the rest of the night hunting for GE’s phone on the dance floor while he sat depressively calling up his mummy during his night shift.
Take 3: Zoom cameras!! Action! (In a tone reserved only for announcing movies on HBO)-The Man, the body, the color of the t-shirt and those unmatched dance moves on the dance floor, we welcome GA from pol-lachi. For all those junior dancers out there, you need to practice what GA does to become dancers of his caliber. Now let me just give a quick tuition through this blog. Step one: Project your left hand out. Step 2: Give a slight jerk to your projected hand and your chest. Step 3 and 4. Repeat the same on right side. At times to add sway and grace to your moves shake your legs as well. And to be noticeable please do dress up accordingly on DJ nights. A red t-shirt with a misdesigned Swiss flag on it will catch the attention of every girl who would have had GK as a subject in her school and knows exactly how a Swiss flag looks like. If not then she would get blinded by the red color and those killer shades.
Take 4: NG, this chap has extra-ordinary moves in his ammunition. Keep swaying at a gentle pace irrespective of the pace of the music, now put this swaying moves in a iterative loop and run it infinitely with circular referencing and pointers that point to the same move. You need to have great concentration to do this unstoppably for 3 hours. And at times when bored of running the same loop, stretch your neck to look at the waxed legs and arms of a being close by. Oh yes, please do remember to grin uncontrollably while you do the so called dance.
Take 5: Now what do I say about myself, I am the best these guys have, I am too modest to let any of the adulation climb up my head. The last time I danced there were 6 casualties around me, one wounded and 5 others seriously injured had to be rushed to the hospital. Such killer dance steps, but I never knew admiration could wound people. Guess being a fan too is not easy, hats off to all those wounded supporters who support me still.
ME is yet to loose his virginity on the dance floor although we have seen a small preview of him during one of our alcohol (read tea) parties, let me warn you, he has some juicy dance chops to flaunt with, that even include a strip-tease. I wonder how the Infy public will react to it if it was ever performed live. ASH has to learn to stop blocking the speakers every DJ night besides learning a few steps and playing in the hay. So... you go practice your animal moves while I just refine my moves to the song “Where’s the party tonight, on the dace floor”...
PS: Click on the link to watch the funniest dance video..
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Friday, May 01, 2009
Pehchaan Kaun ??
I know, 25% of you would have been happier than usual during my long stint of absence, in the past 2 months, another 25% of you would have been jumping around with joy as though you scored a 100 percentile in CAT and yea the rest 49.9999% must have been celebrating thinking Mohit bhagwaan ko pyaara ho gaya. Saala, at last gayab toh hua, and would have spent thousands buying those cheap WWE postcards, mailing the news of my demise to you your worst enemies. Well to all I would say that it is too early to celebrate because I am back.I am in the ring to take another swing, this time rising like a phoenix from the graveyard on which your house stands today (seriously!! didn't you know your house stood on a graveyard?? Go dig it up to find carcasses). To a few misguided souls i.e. the remaining 0.1111% who read this nonsense and left a few comments here last time, I love you people. Please read this post of mine completely. :)
So, where was I so long, for so many days-missing! Well, they say when you are too confused in life you got to spend some time on your own to recuperate. Therefore that was all that I was doing all these days.
And I have been hanging around wearing shades all the time, inspired by this Telugu dude whom I met in the Andhra mess, very close to my house and as I had a small chat with this soon to be Telugu soap actor whose table manners incidentally had to be worse than mine, we made a mess on the table with the aloo curry and poories on a lazy Sunday morning and I found a reason or two for wearing sun glasses/shades or whatever you call them every time, all the time.
According to this actor 1) Wearing shades increases your marginal utility (economics class ki tuition shyaam ko 4 se 5 tak ) as a person and gives you the much required boost because you never know when you might get spotted by a Telugu director for an audition 2) It kind of darkens your view in a closed room like Andhra mess and kinda blinds you from a clean view of the kitchen here. Well, I always wondered why there was a dirty curtain hanging between the dining hall and the kitchen here, one peep inside through the tiny hole in the curtain is enough to make you feel you are pregnant and in the 5 month of pregnancy, puking stuff out 3)All popular Telugu actors constantly wear them all through-out the day be it Chiranjeevi, Venkatesh or Junior NTR. So, now I have made it a point to sleep with my shades on; you may never know, tomorrow you might spot me on E-tv and might also exclaim "Hai hai ni marjawa sweet lassi pi kar, ni ye kitna sona munda hain (Punjabi translation of what Telugu girls might exclaim) and I do not miss wearing them especially when I go to Andhra mess.
By the way from the time the owner of this mess has seen me having conversations with this soon to be Telugu actor,I have been getting complementary gifts in the form of extra poories for breakfast. I seriously do not know why this particular actor eats in this cheap place but it’s true that he enacts plays, serials etc the servers serve him with utter diligence and also wait patiently for tips. He has a Tata safari to his name and of course wears fast tracks goggles all the time.
Anyways a lot of water has flown under the bridge since my last post. I have now moved into a new flat, quite close to old, shaandaar, duplex apartment that I owned with my room mates; in fact I am jus next door to these old room mates of mine. GE is back from his pilgrimage (we do not call it an onsite assignment if it’s shorter than 4 months :)) and the GE law is already in place in our old house. This GE law was first introduced in the yr 2006, according to the GE law anything that stays motionless, stationary or still for more than 15 mins and continues to stay still with no intention of moving has to be loaded with some clothing of GE, GE's shirt, dhoti, lungi, underwear, socks et all. Human beings are no exception to this law and a snoring GA is always the target for ASH’s lungi. Visitors worry visiting our house and this explains one of the reasons why our numerous GFs prefer to meet us in Infosys rather than visiting our rooms. So while I move in with GE and ME in the new room me and ME face the challenge of our lives. We got to control this dude or inculcate the GE law in us.
Its jus three of us sharing a huge, massive, large 2 bedroom flat (in case u dint get the clue, we are all game for a fairer, waxed room mate, yes, especially the one smiling shyly at this line is whole heartedly invited to be our room mate) And there is no more of the morning-domestic-duties phobia hangover. Are you wondering what this morning-domestic-duties phobia is? Well, it’s a special kind of fear that arises out of a few things that happen in the morning rendering you incapable of committing yourself to your morning duties or making you do some water conservation like taking bath with half a bucket of water. These are things like the noisy fan coming to a stand still, and myriad rays of sun piercing our room through the windows making GA to stop his snores midway, ASH's dreams taking a violent turn and NG waking up with an explosion throwing up a few pillows around buried under which he sleeps everyday, Me, banging hard at the bathroom door and a grinning SH sinks even lower in his bath tub. And as the tap starts hissing, clearing its throat of dryness, a violent turn of events just then take place, NG and ASH collide running out of their bedrooms, a bouncy ASH sends NG bouncing back into his room and he himself tumbling down the stair case approaching the bathroom door with a knock so loud that would send an already troubled me into the hai-mujhe-koi-aisne-dekh-na-le-where-is-my-towel mode, fearing the break of the bathroom door, I hnad it over to a glaring ASH. Well, yes the events have been a little exaggerated to the extent of showing a fat Amrita Rao to look like slim Adnan Sami yet this is what an outsider would contemplate if he had heard the fights that take place in our flat on the account of using the bathroom first and these are the things that send me into a phobia, constipating me and allowing me to save precious water.
So while I am now free from all this, I also fear the doomsday when ME would break his consistency of waking up late and in an attempt to show consistency in increasing the number of hours he spends in bathroom would occupy it for eternity. GE and I, as usual have been adjusting dudes, we just blow up the whole bathroom with a few grenades and huge amounts of anger :D. I guess this, like the GE’s law is also a common problem in bachelor rooms all over the world.
We have also got 2 speakers now, thanks to GE on which I play my music on, flaunting around with the collection I have on my I pod. It took 1 whole month of refined, polished rock music to develop the taste buds of GE and ME for pink flyodish kind of music and make their kouthu music tilted ears to listen to the leads of Slash and Joe Perry. Now, ME asks for Bryan Adams and GE asks for Guns and Roses. Keep it up machas, keep improving, pretty soon you would feel curious about the feats achieved by Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton.By the way are you people interested in gazals? I have few, shall i play them ?? :)
So bhai logs thats pretty much that has been happening in my life. I do intend to get in touch with fellow bloggers soon :) Will read all your posts from top to bottom, till then aap IPL dekho aur main dektha hoon FRIENDS STAR WORLD par before anyone else shoots me and snatches the remote from my hand ;)
So, where was I so long, for so many days-missing! Well, they say when you are too confused in life you got to spend some time on your own to recuperate. Therefore that was all that I was doing all these days.
And I have been hanging around wearing shades all the time, inspired by this Telugu dude whom I met in the Andhra mess, very close to my house and as I had a small chat with this soon to be Telugu soap actor whose table manners incidentally had to be worse than mine, we made a mess on the table with the aloo curry and poories on a lazy Sunday morning and I found a reason or two for wearing sun glasses/shades or whatever you call them every time, all the time.
According to this actor 1) Wearing shades increases your marginal utility (economics class ki tuition shyaam ko 4 se 5 tak ) as a person and gives you the much required boost because you never know when you might get spotted by a Telugu director for an audition 2) It kind of darkens your view in a closed room like Andhra mess and kinda blinds you from a clean view of the kitchen here. Well, I always wondered why there was a dirty curtain hanging between the dining hall and the kitchen here, one peep inside through the tiny hole in the curtain is enough to make you feel you are pregnant and in the 5 month of pregnancy, puking stuff out 3)All popular Telugu actors constantly wear them all through-out the day be it Chiranjeevi, Venkatesh or Junior NTR. So, now I have made it a point to sleep with my shades on; you may never know, tomorrow you might spot me on E-tv and might also exclaim "Hai hai ni marjawa sweet lassi pi kar, ni ye kitna sona munda hain (Punjabi translation of what Telugu girls might exclaim) and I do not miss wearing them especially when I go to Andhra mess.
By the way from the time the owner of this mess has seen me having conversations with this soon to be Telugu actor,I have been getting complementary gifts in the form of extra poories for breakfast. I seriously do not know why this particular actor eats in this cheap place but it’s true that he enacts plays, serials etc the servers serve him with utter diligence and also wait patiently for tips. He has a Tata safari to his name and of course wears fast tracks goggles all the time.
Anyways a lot of water has flown under the bridge since my last post. I have now moved into a new flat, quite close to old, shaandaar, duplex apartment that I owned with my room mates; in fact I am jus next door to these old room mates of mine. GE is back from his pilgrimage (we do not call it an onsite assignment if it’s shorter than 4 months :)) and the GE law is already in place in our old house. This GE law was first introduced in the yr 2006, according to the GE law anything that stays motionless, stationary or still for more than 15 mins and continues to stay still with no intention of moving has to be loaded with some clothing of GE, GE's shirt, dhoti, lungi, underwear, socks et all. Human beings are no exception to this law and a snoring GA is always the target for ASH’s lungi. Visitors worry visiting our house and this explains one of the reasons why our numerous GFs prefer to meet us in Infosys rather than visiting our rooms. So while I move in with GE and ME in the new room me and ME face the challenge of our lives. We got to control this dude or inculcate the GE law in us.
Its jus three of us sharing a huge, massive, large 2 bedroom flat (in case u dint get the clue, we are all game for a fairer, waxed room mate, yes, especially the one smiling shyly at this line is whole heartedly invited to be our room mate) And there is no more of the morning-domestic-duties phobia hangover. Are you wondering what this morning-domestic-duties phobia is? Well, it’s a special kind of fear that arises out of a few things that happen in the morning rendering you incapable of committing yourself to your morning duties or making you do some water conservation like taking bath with half a bucket of water. These are things like the noisy fan coming to a stand still, and myriad rays of sun piercing our room through the windows making GA to stop his snores midway, ASH's dreams taking a violent turn and NG waking up with an explosion throwing up a few pillows around buried under which he sleeps everyday, Me, banging hard at the bathroom door and a grinning SH sinks even lower in his bath tub. And as the tap starts hissing, clearing its throat of dryness, a violent turn of events just then take place, NG and ASH collide running out of their bedrooms, a bouncy ASH sends NG bouncing back into his room and he himself tumbling down the stair case approaching the bathroom door with a knock so loud that would send an already troubled me into the hai-mujhe-koi-aisne-dekh-na-le-where-is-my-towel mode, fearing the break of the bathroom door, I hnad it over to a glaring ASH. Well, yes the events have been a little exaggerated to the extent of showing a fat Amrita Rao to look like slim Adnan Sami yet this is what an outsider would contemplate if he had heard the fights that take place in our flat on the account of using the bathroom first and these are the things that send me into a phobia, constipating me and allowing me to save precious water.
So while I am now free from all this, I also fear the doomsday when ME would break his consistency of waking up late and in an attempt to show consistency in increasing the number of hours he spends in bathroom would occupy it for eternity. GE and I, as usual have been adjusting dudes, we just blow up the whole bathroom with a few grenades and huge amounts of anger :D. I guess this, like the GE’s law is also a common problem in bachelor rooms all over the world.
We have also got 2 speakers now, thanks to GE on which I play my music on, flaunting around with the collection I have on my I pod. It took 1 whole month of refined, polished rock music to develop the taste buds of GE and ME for pink flyodish kind of music and make their kouthu music tilted ears to listen to the leads of Slash and Joe Perry. Now, ME asks for Bryan Adams and GE asks for Guns and Roses. Keep it up machas, keep improving, pretty soon you would feel curious about the feats achieved by Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton.By the way are you people interested in gazals? I have few, shall i play them ?? :)
So bhai logs thats pretty much that has been happening in my life. I do intend to get in touch with fellow bloggers soon :) Will read all your posts from top to bottom, till then aap IPL dekho aur main dektha hoon FRIENDS STAR WORLD par before anyone else shoots me and snatches the remote from my hand ;)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
V-Day Notes- Unlimited Bakwaas!!!
*** Disclaimer 1: Unless you go into the Phoebe (F.R.I.E.N.D.S) mode, the senseless/silly humor kinds, you would find the below post as boring as a mourning ceremony and instead of humming the Tandoori Nights song, you might find yourself singing “Tujhse Naraz Nahi Zindagi”.
*** Disclaimer 2: Kids, if you do not understand a few lines below please use the keywords to search on Answers.com. You get all answers here for all your naïve questions like “From where babies come from?” or “Are people manufactured by God, if yes then what’s his firm name??” The point is I am not sure how safe is the content for a 10 yr old but I am sure there is no 10 yr old who reads my blog nor do I think any kid would keep himself away if I said “Explicit content ahead, if you are not 18 please leave”. Oh God!! Why do I have to rattle so much about simple stuff? Ani, you were the one who asked me to put this disclaimer. Huh!!!
Time: 9.30 pm on 14th Feb 2009
Place: Pranam Sagar( Quite a divine name for a road side hotel, but do not underestimate it, one gets served everything here from Dal Tadka to Malai Kofta and Chineese bhi milta hain)
Background Music: Tandoor Nights, featuring: - Himesh Dashing Reshammiya & Urmila Wrinkled Mantodker. This is necessary to build the necessary mood for the bakwaas ahead.
Before the food is brought to my table by the person about whom a part of this blog is dedicated to, I shall key in a few lines on my mobile.
When I was a kid, I kept myself a thousand miles away from the puzzles and crosswords in newspapers. Scrabble was the most hated game next only to word power and Derek O’Brien’s confident minds. Sudoku was pretty low, say at the 10th spot considering that I understood a little bit of it with my limited intellectual powers. I always thought that whenever our president announced that “Children are the future of our nation” he had meant those words for the kids who woke up in the middle of night shouting Eureka! Solved crosswords in record time and at least built a robot to help their moms with the household chores. For me the TV schedule page remained the most interesting page( Note : we dint have a cable connection until last year and still I knew the history of all the shows from Movers & Shakers to Family Fortunes and the Bold and the Beautiful saga) next only to the sports page and if at all I stumbled across the puzzles and crosswords, I made sure I only colored the sketch at the bottom of the page or solved this one small puzzle that required one to find 6 microscopic differences between 2 pics, one perfect and one imperfect with a few small changes injected into it for you to find.
So I looked at the owner of Pranam Sagar (OPS) personally serving me Dal Tadka and Rotis and looked at Himesh singing Tandoori nights on TV placed close to the ceiling. My observation that lasted a few seconds resulted in me finding 2 similarities (Why did you think I told you the puzzle story before, time pass?? NO. I am good at observing things and finding differences and similarities) between Himesh and OPS. Both wear a cap, dominantly and both sport a thick beard. So I named this hotel as Himesh Reshammiya Sagar.
And talking of Himesh I wonder if he had ever had a valentine on the Valentines’ day. Don’t tell me you are ignorant of this day. I shall react with a scream loud enough to tear your ear drums, with my eyes popping out and my palm covering my mouth in complete shock. OK! Kuch zyada hi overacting ho gayi. Let me increase your love quotient and enlighten your dull sense of romance now.
It’s the day when bachelors like me mourn. The day when a few tons of saliva is exchanged and a few zillion promises are made, colonies of sperms set out on a journey in search of their destination to extreme poles( no I dint intend this pun) and the balance sheet of a few fancy stores around the world show a bizarre turnover. When love is in the air and you automatically start feeling fanatical about things and actually go into believing that the 2 girls in the street who just bumped into each other and a few other men sighing at you from the other side of the road was because of your axe effect; please start concluding that its V-day. Though the signs are make believe and the men sighing from across the road might have found you hot (find someone else I am pure and straight) yet you cannot ignore them (signs). You must either be a Ram Sene activitst or a bachelor like me to ignore these signs and live a normal life on this day. It comes from within the excitement, the feeling of being in love and of course the flirting talent you thought you never had.
By the way Valentines Day is also known for Saint Valentine, I would have totally forgotten this fact if I hadn’t read the newspapers in the morning. Since then I have been asking a lot of people if they are aware of the story behind this chap Valentine and it turns out that most of the guys are unaware of it. I am sure if you had asked GA (the only person who has a GF in my room and should have been celebrating this day) he would relate it to Abhay Deol’s character in Dev-D. Dev-D being the recent most HINDI movie we are planning to trick him to watch this weekend. This fellow knows more Hindi than Condolezza Rice and is capable of interpreting the scenes of the movie in his own way. I have told him that Dev-D revolves around this dude named Valentine who was ditched by innumerable females but he still moved on in his life to set up a marriage counseling shop and that’s why we call him Saint Valentine. I hope to find an inspired GA relaying the story back to his GF in the night and I am sure the story shall be told for the years to come in Infy at least. See that’s how you make and change history. The last time we took GA for a Hindi movie, we figured out that he does reason a lot. He mistook Sohail and Arbaaz Khan to be the villians in Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na as he thought Imraan and Genelia were always in love from the beginning and the movie dint require the hero to box some one in the nose, ride a horse and land up in jail. According to him the storyline was weak and that he movie should have been over with the very first scene. Beat that interpretation!!.
So where were we?? Ah! Yes, Himesh’s GF. Does he have Valentine this year at least? In my social circle that extends to a few villages of India, I have never seen any sher ki gori or gaaon ki choori exclaim breatlessly “Oh, oh ... he’s so cute” or “Hai main mar jawa gudh kha kar, itna sona munda hain Himeshu”... or “he is cho cuteeee, I love his voice and his voice box lodged inside his nose” or “those thick lips are so irresistible(sensual tone)” or a desperate “I love u, I love you, I love * 1000 times”. Never have I never heard this for Himesh. Even this guy, Simbu has female fans but not Himesh.
That point proved. Now if you should allow me I have to spend 2 mins in silence on this day. I do share a similarity with Mr.Valentine, Himesh & OPS. We are all single this day and we sport a beard. The cap of course is missing on me. Halleluiah...!!
BTW have you watched Ghajini, I am sure you would have. There is a song in it. “kaise Mujhe Tu Mil Gayi, Aayana Mujko Yakeen” the perfect song that is to be played in the background when guys like me would find a partner in life. :)
Moods: Excited/ Hungry/ Mad/ Irritated/ Sympathetic towards Himesh
*** Disclaimer 2: Kids, if you do not understand a few lines below please use the keywords to search on Answers.com. You get all answers here for all your naïve questions like “From where babies come from?” or “Are people manufactured by God, if yes then what’s his firm name??” The point is I am not sure how safe is the content for a 10 yr old but I am sure there is no 10 yr old who reads my blog nor do I think any kid would keep himself away if I said “Explicit content ahead, if you are not 18 please leave”. Oh God!! Why do I have to rattle so much about simple stuff? Ani, you were the one who asked me to put this disclaimer. Huh!!!
Time: 9.30 pm on 14th Feb 2009
Place: Pranam Sagar( Quite a divine name for a road side hotel, but do not underestimate it, one gets served everything here from Dal Tadka to Malai Kofta and Chineese bhi milta hain)
Background Music: Tandoor Nights, featuring: - Himesh Dashing Reshammiya & Urmila Wrinkled Mantodker. This is necessary to build the necessary mood for the bakwaas ahead.
Before the food is brought to my table by the person about whom a part of this blog is dedicated to, I shall key in a few lines on my mobile.
When I was a kid, I kept myself a thousand miles away from the puzzles and crosswords in newspapers. Scrabble was the most hated game next only to word power and Derek O’Brien’s confident minds. Sudoku was pretty low, say at the 10th spot considering that I understood a little bit of it with my limited intellectual powers. I always thought that whenever our president announced that “Children are the future of our nation” he had meant those words for the kids who woke up in the middle of night shouting Eureka! Solved crosswords in record time and at least built a robot to help their moms with the household chores. For me the TV schedule page remained the most interesting page( Note : we dint have a cable connection until last year and still I knew the history of all the shows from Movers & Shakers to Family Fortunes and the Bold and the Beautiful saga) next only to the sports page and if at all I stumbled across the puzzles and crosswords, I made sure I only colored the sketch at the bottom of the page or solved this one small puzzle that required one to find 6 microscopic differences between 2 pics, one perfect and one imperfect with a few small changes injected into it for you to find.
So I looked at the owner of Pranam Sagar (OPS) personally serving me Dal Tadka and Rotis and looked at Himesh singing Tandoori nights on TV placed close to the ceiling. My observation that lasted a few seconds resulted in me finding 2 similarities (Why did you think I told you the puzzle story before, time pass?? NO. I am good at observing things and finding differences and similarities) between Himesh and OPS. Both wear a cap, dominantly and both sport a thick beard. So I named this hotel as Himesh Reshammiya Sagar.
And talking of Himesh I wonder if he had ever had a valentine on the Valentines’ day. Don’t tell me you are ignorant of this day. I shall react with a scream loud enough to tear your ear drums, with my eyes popping out and my palm covering my mouth in complete shock. OK! Kuch zyada hi overacting ho gayi. Let me increase your love quotient and enlighten your dull sense of romance now.
It’s the day when bachelors like me mourn. The day when a few tons of saliva is exchanged and a few zillion promises are made, colonies of sperms set out on a journey in search of their destination to extreme poles( no I dint intend this pun) and the balance sheet of a few fancy stores around the world show a bizarre turnover. When love is in the air and you automatically start feeling fanatical about things and actually go into believing that the 2 girls in the street who just bumped into each other and a few other men sighing at you from the other side of the road was because of your axe effect; please start concluding that its V-day. Though the signs are make believe and the men sighing from across the road might have found you hot (find someone else I am pure and straight) yet you cannot ignore them (signs). You must either be a Ram Sene activitst or a bachelor like me to ignore these signs and live a normal life on this day. It comes from within the excitement, the feeling of being in love and of course the flirting talent you thought you never had.
By the way Valentines Day is also known for Saint Valentine, I would have totally forgotten this fact if I hadn’t read the newspapers in the morning. Since then I have been asking a lot of people if they are aware of the story behind this chap Valentine and it turns out that most of the guys are unaware of it. I am sure if you had asked GA (the only person who has a GF in my room and should have been celebrating this day) he would relate it to Abhay Deol’s character in Dev-D. Dev-D being the recent most HINDI movie we are planning to trick him to watch this weekend. This fellow knows more Hindi than Condolezza Rice and is capable of interpreting the scenes of the movie in his own way. I have told him that Dev-D revolves around this dude named Valentine who was ditched by innumerable females but he still moved on in his life to set up a marriage counseling shop and that’s why we call him Saint Valentine. I hope to find an inspired GA relaying the story back to his GF in the night and I am sure the story shall be told for the years to come in Infy at least. See that’s how you make and change history. The last time we took GA for a Hindi movie, we figured out that he does reason a lot. He mistook Sohail and Arbaaz Khan to be the villians in Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na as he thought Imraan and Genelia were always in love from the beginning and the movie dint require the hero to box some one in the nose, ride a horse and land up in jail. According to him the storyline was weak and that he movie should have been over with the very first scene. Beat that interpretation!!.
So where were we?? Ah! Yes, Himesh’s GF. Does he have Valentine this year at least? In my social circle that extends to a few villages of India, I have never seen any sher ki gori or gaaon ki choori exclaim breatlessly “Oh, oh ... he’s so cute” or “Hai main mar jawa gudh kha kar, itna sona munda hain Himeshu”... or “he is cho cuteeee, I love his voice and his voice box lodged inside his nose” or “those thick lips are so irresistible(sensual tone)” or a desperate “I love u, I love you, I love * 1000 times”. Never have I never heard this for Himesh. Even this guy, Simbu has female fans but not Himesh.
That point proved. Now if you should allow me I have to spend 2 mins in silence on this day. I do share a similarity with Mr.Valentine, Himesh & OPS. We are all single this day and we sport a beard. The cap of course is missing on me. Halleluiah...!!
BTW have you watched Ghajini, I am sure you would have. There is a song in it. “kaise Mujhe Tu Mil Gayi, Aayana Mujko Yakeen” the perfect song that is to be played in the background when guys like me would find a partner in life. :)
Moods: Excited/ Hungry/ Mad/ Irritated/ Sympathetic towards Himesh
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Dec musings in Jan... :)
Ok!! I have got just 20 mins before the lunch gets served in the canteen here but this blog has to be typed and it will be, at any cost, remember in one of my posts I said that writing a post is like peeing when you got to do it, u ought to do it !! So here it is:-
The guard outside just gave me an expression of awe that sure matched the magnitude of me receiving a FAST TRACK watch as a Christmas gift. Yes, DIP-TEA gifted me one for Christmas, awesome na?? Someone does think I am worth all the money spent on that watch. It’s hard to believe sometimes the venues that God chooses to make you happy, I least expected it to come from this venue at least considering the alarming frequency with which I annoy her. I feel so grateful to her that I plan to pay all her shopping and beauty parlor bills for the next year or so :) Ahem!! lets just decrease the time period to a financial quarter, you see challenging economic conditions ka zaman hai bhai :) So, this one security guard of Infy thinks I am the most hardworking employee of Infosys and all the excellence, recognition etc awards should be given to me and why if you might like to ask me is because I come to office every weekend that I stay in Bangalore- hai na mast social life meri, little does he know that I spend most of my time writing stupid stuff and reading a few meaning full blogs like this one
I have just retuned from the Laundromat (Ok, Ok, now don’t Google to find a pic of it on net), it’s an electronic Dhobhi Ghat . Yep, something like the dhobi ghat in the backdrop of the Munna Bhai movie!! Yes!! but this one is a little different, we have state of the art, front loading washing machines where Infy employees bring trolleys full of clothes (Indian mentality, saale, sasthe main jo miltha hain uska overuse) every weekend, NG brings a bag, big enough to hold 4 machine guns, 2 rocket launchers, a dozen grenades and few kilos of dry fruits - kya news reader type effect diya dekha!- sit an relax while the machine does all the washing. Some of the machines just talk, you know, yes the sound emitted by some just increases over a period of time, they start shaking in their moulds, vibrating like hell and sound like a generator woken up from sleep and forcefully run; probably their way of complaining about all the dirt on the shirt collars or the chocolate wrappers in pockets. NG always imagines them to have life and says that they might also jump out of their moulds someday and start walking :) hai na weird mera room mate :D . You can sit an read an edition of The Week to impress the girl sitting next to you or jus put your head down and drool in your sleep, no one bothers you here and the employees are very understanding as well, they give you a reassuring smile that says "I believe in freedom as well so go on fold you torn under garment, someone might just spot it *naught grins*”
It does save a lot of time and most significantly frees a bachelor like me from physical bondage. Washing clothes has always been the most rigorous, abhorred, time consuming activity of mine on every weekend, hats off to my mom who washed my clothes for the first 19 years of my life. I was like one of those kids in the surf excel adds whose mother gives you a heart warming, 32 teeth out smile even when her son in all possibilities would have looked like a slum dweller’s child and resembled a snow man( brown in color, Note- the kids are always plump in the adds)with absolutely no sign of panic and anger she picks up a packet of detergent and says to the kid "blue ko blue rakhne ke liye green". The dirt in my clothes used to be somewhat of the same magnitude but then the scene used to be a little different from these adds. Mom used to thunder and sometimes I would roam around naked for the rest of the day as a result of my bandit queen's everlasting anger :) - traumatic childhood I had!!. But on a serious note, my clothes used to drip with sweat literally and the collars, uee maa, and not to forget the filth of things like chocolate wrappers, crayons, blades, wires, bolts and grease; I guess patience is the virtue of a true mother and every mother next only to selflessness and love being the first :). How else do you think I got the cleanest clothes to wear everyday to school and the whitest T-shirts to play every evening that left the others kids exclaiming to me "teri t-shirt meri t-shirt se safad kyu, kyu, kyu(echoes) :) and their moms becoming extremely jealous of the safadhi :D
Now the true calling of nature is being felt in my stomach and I got to find food in the campus. So see ya .. will be back soon .Please please please keep commenting, after the fiasco of DMK distributing rice, TVs and cash for free I guess it would be perfectly legal if I pay some of you to comment here .. U like it?? :) High hopes you have jaa oh jaa paise falthoo nahi hain !!!
Thanks DIP-TEA for the watch
On the Juke box- You’ve got a friend (Mc Fly) - This one s for you DIP-TEA
The guard outside just gave me an expression of awe that sure matched the magnitude of me receiving a FAST TRACK watch as a Christmas gift. Yes, DIP-TEA gifted me one for Christmas, awesome na?? Someone does think I am worth all the money spent on that watch. It’s hard to believe sometimes the venues that God chooses to make you happy, I least expected it to come from this venue at least considering the alarming frequency with which I annoy her. I feel so grateful to her that I plan to pay all her shopping and beauty parlor bills for the next year or so :) Ahem!! lets just decrease the time period to a financial quarter, you see challenging economic conditions ka zaman hai bhai :) So, this one security guard of Infy thinks I am the most hardworking employee of Infosys and all the excellence, recognition etc awards should be given to me and why if you might like to ask me is because I come to office every weekend that I stay in Bangalore- hai na mast social life meri, little does he know that I spend most of my time writing stupid stuff and reading a few meaning full blogs like this one
I have just retuned from the Laundromat (Ok, Ok, now don’t Google to find a pic of it on net), it’s an electronic Dhobhi Ghat . Yep, something like the dhobi ghat in the backdrop of the Munna Bhai movie!! Yes!! but this one is a little different, we have state of the art, front loading washing machines where Infy employees bring trolleys full of clothes (Indian mentality, saale, sasthe main jo miltha hain uska overuse) every weekend, NG brings a bag, big enough to hold 4 machine guns, 2 rocket launchers, a dozen grenades and few kilos of dry fruits - kya news reader type effect diya dekha!- sit an relax while the machine does all the washing. Some of the machines just talk, you know, yes the sound emitted by some just increases over a period of time, they start shaking in their moulds, vibrating like hell and sound like a generator woken up from sleep and forcefully run; probably their way of complaining about all the dirt on the shirt collars or the chocolate wrappers in pockets. NG always imagines them to have life and says that they might also jump out of their moulds someday and start walking :) hai na weird mera room mate :D . You can sit an read an edition of The Week to impress the girl sitting next to you or jus put your head down and drool in your sleep, no one bothers you here and the employees are very understanding as well, they give you a reassuring smile that says "I believe in freedom as well so go on fold you torn under garment, someone might just spot it *naught grins*”
It does save a lot of time and most significantly frees a bachelor like me from physical bondage. Washing clothes has always been the most rigorous, abhorred, time consuming activity of mine on every weekend, hats off to my mom who washed my clothes for the first 19 years of my life. I was like one of those kids in the surf excel adds whose mother gives you a heart warming, 32 teeth out smile even when her son in all possibilities would have looked like a slum dweller’s child and resembled a snow man( brown in color, Note- the kids are always plump in the adds)with absolutely no sign of panic and anger she picks up a packet of detergent and says to the kid "blue ko blue rakhne ke liye green". The dirt in my clothes used to be somewhat of the same magnitude but then the scene used to be a little different from these adds. Mom used to thunder and sometimes I would roam around naked for the rest of the day as a result of my bandit queen's everlasting anger :) - traumatic childhood I had!!. But on a serious note, my clothes used to drip with sweat literally and the collars, uee maa, and not to forget the filth of things like chocolate wrappers, crayons, blades, wires, bolts and grease; I guess patience is the virtue of a true mother and every mother next only to selflessness and love being the first :). How else do you think I got the cleanest clothes to wear everyday to school and the whitest T-shirts to play every evening that left the others kids exclaiming to me "teri t-shirt meri t-shirt se safad kyu, kyu, kyu(echoes) :) and their moms becoming extremely jealous of the safadhi :D
Now the true calling of nature is being felt in my stomach and I got to find food in the campus. So see ya .. will be back soon .Please please please keep commenting, after the fiasco of DMK distributing rice, TVs and cash for free I guess it would be perfectly legal if I pay some of you to comment here .. U like it?? :) High hopes you have jaa oh jaa paise falthoo nahi hain !!!
Thanks DIP-TEA for the watch
On the Juke box- You’ve got a friend (Mc Fly) - This one s for you DIP-TEA
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Iyer Mess, Salem & Ammu Mess- Here We come!!!
I was an obsessive kid, a complete irony in comparison with the character of my parents, the simplest beings on earth. I haven't achieved much, hell I wasn't even close to getting top ranks in my class; at studies I wasn't actually obsessive but when it came to things like cartoons, games, toys, nuts, bolts, tyres, wires and bulbs etc I was insanely attached. I used to fathom that anything that had managed to gain my attention and had made me feel attracted to it belonged to me and I had to own it even though it was impossible to own certain things at times inappropriate. I guess I have not grown up since the time I had to let go off the blue toy jeep, one of my favorite toys that I remember till date. The only difference now is the things that make me feel depressed, joyous, excited, brood or sulk over are different and the only similarity is that these things are still meaningless I am sure to grow over them just like I lost interest in my toys but at this very present moment, I have lost the discerning sense to think and contemplate about these facts. In short, I am depressed and brooding and sulking over things, moments and people whom I can never own or make mine. And each time I undergo this complex mélange of emotions, I ask myself is it possible to change the person you are?? Don't the traces show even later in your life? And is it possible to forget someone completely or erase one from your memory forever?
Ok!! Enough of depressive talk nor for some gilma (I have no idea where I got this word from, I guess GA used it first) talk. My room mates and me are such big eaters that once we had an egg eating competition in the nearby mess (yes the same mess where the cats patrol up and down alongside tables and where asking for a spoon is a serious crime and dealt with severity of that of a POTA act) and the mess owner had to literally plead us to stop our egg eating competition. We had eaten a total of 32 eggs and the hotel was out of clean plates so the last of the eggs were left on our table in the serving plates itself. These messes are perfect epitomes of the ideology "Unity in Diversity", you would find a northie sitting next to a southie, complete strangers and yet the southie would be teaching the northie how to break a piece of chapatti (Indian bread as they call it in continental culinary language, for the socialites who might stumble upon the place) using just 2 fingers of your right hand. I do not know how do they do it but eating with your left hand is another crime that might provoke unpleasant gestures like banging of plates by the servers on your table and another southie becoming doubtful about your origin as an Indian. And mind it, elbows dripping with sambar and making small hand grenades (rice balls) out of the rice served are few other things that one would notice and need to learn at these messes.
So, yes where were we, yea, I was talking about big eaters and after such a heavy meal our expedition takes a different turn. Note this ritual happens every night. SH stops for his hot badam milk at a bakery close by (yep, you got it right the same malu bakery where dogs are mascots welcoming you at the entrance and juices are made in huge quantities).NG, peeps into the refrigerator and points at the cold badam milk can, he is becoming an expert at sign language, this fellow is talented you know, 2.5 yrs in Bangalore and he has managed without knowing any of the 3 main languages spoken here, Tamil, Hindi or Kanada. He points at the tin of cold badam milk and asks the shopwala "fresh hain/irruka". The already confused shopwala replies "Yes its fresh”. Now I don’t understand why people ask this question every time they go to buy some edible stuff. Do they expect the shopwala to say "No, it’s not fresh, come later" or do they want him to accept that the whole tin was packed and distributed in his own back yard beside an open drain. Would any shopkeeper do that? And that too for a tinned can. The shopkeepers in our area can’t even read the expiry date on the cans. So I play safe ask for a Pepsi for me and GA and take it down in one gulp. There is more, we stop at every bakery, departmental store buying something or the other ranging from chikis to toffees (I take the credit for this) and the finally ending the mission with bananas. The amount that we spend on our various edible desires is so much that if ever a calculation was made we would have equaled the amount consumed and spent by any African, hungry nation on food.
Look this blog also works as a complete guide for the people who might shift into this suburban area of Bangalore. So go ahead and polish your vocabulary, might be useful in messes all over south India.
Ask for "Full tea"- most likely the shopkeeper would give you frootie. Did you even know that there was something called the full tea and half tea?? ..
Strepsils- The pharmacist might just naughtily grin at you and secretly slip a pack of condoms into your hands.
Ever heard of half egg puff, full egg puff...
Ok! This thing makes me go into peels of laughter, "Dil-Pasand". Triangular shaped bread stuffed with cherries, jam and some sweet coconut gratings. I guess some excited malu who loved cherries and had a burning desire to be loved by people must have coined this name.
Motta-Veech- this one is tricky it’s a Tamil phrase for a chapatti which has an omelet stuck to one of its sides.
Kalakki- this one is hard to explain, a half cooked omelet and folded to look like small sac like structure. Real tasty stuff.
Half Boiled- not exactly a boiled egg but a bull’s eye is refereed to as half boiled in these messes. It’s universal and not a mistake here.
Barrotta- Nothing close to parathaas but a pan cake made out of something quite different from wheat.
1/2 - Lime juice. One lime juice is poured into 2 glasses, perfect quantity for the couple that believes in more talk and eats less.
Kuska- Briyani flavored rice but no meat pieces. You can call it the poor man's briyani.
Ok!! Enough of depressive talk nor for some gilma (I have no idea where I got this word from, I guess GA used it first) talk. My room mates and me are such big eaters that once we had an egg eating competition in the nearby mess (yes the same mess where the cats patrol up and down alongside tables and where asking for a spoon is a serious crime and dealt with severity of that of a POTA act) and the mess owner had to literally plead us to stop our egg eating competition. We had eaten a total of 32 eggs and the hotel was out of clean plates so the last of the eggs were left on our table in the serving plates itself. These messes are perfect epitomes of the ideology "Unity in Diversity", you would find a northie sitting next to a southie, complete strangers and yet the southie would be teaching the northie how to break a piece of chapatti (Indian bread as they call it in continental culinary language, for the socialites who might stumble upon the place) using just 2 fingers of your right hand. I do not know how do they do it but eating with your left hand is another crime that might provoke unpleasant gestures like banging of plates by the servers on your table and another southie becoming doubtful about your origin as an Indian. And mind it, elbows dripping with sambar and making small hand grenades (rice balls) out of the rice served are few other things that one would notice and need to learn at these messes.
So, yes where were we, yea, I was talking about big eaters and after such a heavy meal our expedition takes a different turn. Note this ritual happens every night. SH stops for his hot badam milk at a bakery close by (yep, you got it right the same malu bakery where dogs are mascots welcoming you at the entrance and juices are made in huge quantities).NG, peeps into the refrigerator and points at the cold badam milk can, he is becoming an expert at sign language, this fellow is talented you know, 2.5 yrs in Bangalore and he has managed without knowing any of the 3 main languages spoken here, Tamil, Hindi or Kanada. He points at the tin of cold badam milk and asks the shopwala "fresh hain/irruka". The already confused shopwala replies "Yes its fresh”. Now I don’t understand why people ask this question every time they go to buy some edible stuff. Do they expect the shopwala to say "No, it’s not fresh, come later" or do they want him to accept that the whole tin was packed and distributed in his own back yard beside an open drain. Would any shopkeeper do that? And that too for a tinned can. The shopkeepers in our area can’t even read the expiry date on the cans. So I play safe ask for a Pepsi for me and GA and take it down in one gulp. There is more, we stop at every bakery, departmental store buying something or the other ranging from chikis to toffees (I take the credit for this) and the finally ending the mission with bananas. The amount that we spend on our various edible desires is so much that if ever a calculation was made we would have equaled the amount consumed and spent by any African, hungry nation on food.
Look this blog also works as a complete guide for the people who might shift into this suburban area of Bangalore. So go ahead and polish your vocabulary, might be useful in messes all over south India.
Ask for "Full tea"- most likely the shopkeeper would give you frootie. Did you even know that there was something called the full tea and half tea?? ..
Strepsils- The pharmacist might just naughtily grin at you and secretly slip a pack of condoms into your hands.
Ever heard of half egg puff, full egg puff...
Ok! This thing makes me go into peels of laughter, "Dil-Pasand". Triangular shaped bread stuffed with cherries, jam and some sweet coconut gratings. I guess some excited malu who loved cherries and had a burning desire to be loved by people must have coined this name.
Motta-Veech- this one is tricky it’s a Tamil phrase for a chapatti which has an omelet stuck to one of its sides.
Kalakki- this one is hard to explain, a half cooked omelet and folded to look like small sac like structure. Real tasty stuff.
Half Boiled- not exactly a boiled egg but a bull’s eye is refereed to as half boiled in these messes. It’s universal and not a mistake here.
Barrotta- Nothing close to parathaas but a pan cake made out of something quite different from wheat.
1/2 - Lime juice. One lime juice is poured into 2 glasses, perfect quantity for the couple that believes in more talk and eats less.
Kuska- Briyani flavored rice but no meat pieces. You can call it the poor man's briyani.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
