Hello ! Long time no see .? :)

“Hello!! Ghar main koi hain? Itna sanata kyu hain bhai? Saala ek Murruku bas ek murruku aadmi ko blogger bana deta hain”.
It’s ok if you did not understand a word of what I just wrote. Ignore it. I was just saying that it takes one “Murruku”; just one freaking murruku to bring one back to his blog. Who invented this concentric circled, brittle like glass kind of, South Indian snack? Must be some kind of an over enthusiastic, geometry freak from South India.

A lot of water has flown under the bridge since my last post 1.5 yrs back(Uee ma kitna time ho gaya re last post ko!!). I hoped and desired that some of you would have quit following this blog but nahi!!!! Some dear (read hindi word “Dheet”) people keep dawdling to this space and enquire about the coming of a brand new post. Well, so, here it is another new post dedicated especially to the people who genuinely enquired me about this old, cobweb prone blog of mine (ok now, I am serious ... no joking ... I love you guys!!)

For some reason, I had started to wonder if I outgrew my own blog, suddenly none of the thoughts in my previous posts appealed to me and everything seemed immature but then I realized, I have just stopped being happy and lost the fuel to drive this blog. And you know what, no matter what happens; one should never stop doing the things he enjoys though they might not be of one’s first priority. Lesson learnt – “Get back to the things you like doing and find time for them, include them in your busy schedule to keep yourself alive”

Work at office took its toll on me and I ended giving up on a few things that I love dedicating time towards. So, back to the reason that dragged me here; ever felt the noise that a “Murruku” creates in your head when you bite into it? Your whole head is filled with the biting and chewing noise of your teeth grinding into one such murrukku. Over a period of chewing, there arises divinity in this commotion, suddenly you can’t hear a thing of the outside world and your mind reaches a trance like state. If you are having trouble picturing it then perhaps you can imagine your last orgasm; yea, similar state of mind I am talking about here ( you did not expect that, did you ..? LOL) With all the noise in your head and your taste buds busy, you lose control of your thoughts, a zillion pictures flash across your mind and then arrive the epiphanies. Mine was just communicated with a series of logical questions. In an echoing tone, my conscience spoke to me
“Whose cup of tea is “maturity” (mature-tea … PJ!!)?" And I told myself- “Chal chad yaar! The concept of maturity is elusive, there is no such thing. People commit mistakes day in and day out. If the number of mistakes committed by a human being by just not acting his/ her age was a parameter to measure maturity; I guess none of us would clear the bar. We are all prone to commit mistakes that absolutely do not suit our age or experience and there is always someone else who pays for it. That’s how you learn and that’s how the term "learning curve" was invented. Get back to your blog and type what occurs to you first, be it immature. Be it the thoughts of a 10 yr old. No one else around you is mature!” So, now you know from where I get my inspiration : P... It took one murruku to get me back to my blog.

 So, I am back in the ring to take another swing and I haven’t changed one bit and though I, now, have my coffee at Starbucks; I still stuff my pockets with namkeen before I leave home. Ek dam desi mentality!! mera bas chale toh har Starbucks ke side pe ek halwai ki dukaan kholu. Kachori, aloo ki subzi aur Starbucks ki capuchinno. Mast rahe ga na?

Oh yes, all the STARBUCKS talk because Infy made another mistake in the recent times (apart from the VISA issues and dwindling growth) they sent me to United States of America to evangelize Indian toilets and preach against the use of tissue papers. Boing!! Since then I haven’t let them down I don’t miss a chance to talk about Indianism at work and tissue paper ka toh namo-nishaan nahin mere bathroom main. :P For the people with humor quotient of Manmohan Sing- I said, I am in US working for a software company.

Nothing has changed in my life apart from my location, I still feel lost career wise and in life generally. And, I am starting to wonder if life will always be so unsettled. I have changed so many houses in past one year that now I don’t even bother to unpack my stuff when I shift to a new place. “Making new friends” was pleasurable thing that I once mentioned on a slam book in school but now, I think that once you cross a certain age, making intimate friends just doesn’t happen easily. You always have a problem or two and just can’t overlook the shortcomings of a friend. Ego plays an important role too. And if it is going to be this way I guess, finding rhythm in this commotion, just like the murruku-eating experience is the key to a peaceful, serene life. I have not yet reached the trance like state, I am yet to start enjoying it but I know, I have taken the first step in finding it.

Ah! Crap again. You can ignore all the profound stuff, I am constantly evolving and all this will sound immature in six month’s time. No wonder the blog has been named “Things that are under the sun” and as Freddie Mercury would say “... And nothing really matters” nothing really matters in the end.

On the play list - Bohemian Rhapsody

There 's something strange in the neighbourhood.......

And I thought; the only thing that could scare me was Genelia’s superficial acting skills but I guess there are few other things that scare me on thunderous, stormy nights. For one, I think my house is bombarded with a lot of spirits; especially from the times I have started to live alone. Perhaps, earlier as well the spirits lurked somewhere outside my house but were too afraid to enter a house which was always under the influence of GE’s tiger printed, polka dotted underwears and not to forget GA’s dead-rat-smelling socks and NGs morning-farts. These things can break any jinx or shoo away any spirit in the proximity of 50kms of my house.

Anyways, now, its like, a spirit hides in every object placed in my house like the one in the tap! It just doesn’t quit hissing. I know it might be an air lock but it’s always like this; even when its throwing water, it is hissing. The bathroom door seems like it has a life of its own. No matter how many times I lock it, it swings open and then makes scary, creaking sounds night long. Stubborn spirits!

There are like as many doors and windows as Ali-baba’s 40 thieves, in my house. Every night I have to go on an expedition shutting them and checking them. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with sweat dripping down my face, fearing if I had forgotten to lock the door that leads to the terrace or to another sound of a banging window.

And only if these moments were not enough to make one pee in his bed, something very weird and very paranormal happens occasionally. Unlock the front door, go outside, look around, take-in a whiff of fresh air, look at your neighbor’s daughter, come inside, shut the door, switch on the lights, turn around reach for the TV remote and door bell rings. You venture out, look around, you find no one. You take a look again at your neighbor’s daughter, bang the door and try the lights again the door bell fails to ring. It happens only at the times when you are least expecting it, the phenomena happens. I sometimes imagine what if the bell had to ring in the middle of the night and no one was found outside. Scary na? ***Ghost Laughs***

Sometimes, what happens in the middle of the night is that even without a power cut the fan in my room halts on its own and starts-up again after sometime. There is no one to reach the switch and put it off for me and I have no idea how it goes off on its own. The weird part is, it gets switched on without assistance. It happens all night long; while I sleep peacefully listening to the various sounds emerging from the outdoors; like the sound of the numerous lizards or the sounds on the multiple terraces that I have a view of from my bedroom window or the weird noises that come from the hall down below while I keep wondering and expecting; when a dark figure in a black cloak would climb up the staircase to my bedroom and stand at its entrance, sometime in the middle of the night. 
Sends chill down your spine? I made that one up :P

Anywyas, how are you people doing nowadays? Long time no see! A big “hi” to people living or dead. Now!! That would be an appropriate way of salutation, won’t it?

To all the dead people and Genelia the comments section is not for you and in no way reading this space stands as an invite for you to haunt my house. Now run along, Go away!!

On the I pod- Ghostbusters

Who moved my cheese . !!

The point is that searching for a room mate is as herculean a task as searching for a soul mate. In both cases, you fear being caught up with the wrong one. Before you go ahead and commit (note the word that I use here) a room to him, you’ve got to make sure of his habits, whether he is a non-vegetarian, whether he smokes, is he a fun person to stay with or of the intense, ranting types like the one who appears in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. as the first room mate of Chandler. You get what I mean. It’s not like you would put up the add on the Infy bulletin board one morning and posts will flood your inbox with prospective female, super models, 5ft.10 inches, curvaceous body and having a sexy stride kind of profiles with photos attached for you to choose from. Although I wish the situation was so. Unfortunately, it’s not gonna happen for another 50 years in India and be prepared for a few hairy, unclean, unattractive and ranting men. Did I just say unattractive, whoosh!! Now erase that off your memory. I dint mean it... :)

This blog had seen a lot since it was first started in the month of May 2006.A lot has been written here about my friends and roomies and I guess it would see no more about them. A few have moved out in search of greener pastures and a few in search of better halves. And I am now left wondering what it would be like to be the CEO of a halwai shop. Well, it has been my dream since the early days in Infy; not to own the halwai shop but yea to head a company. And since everybody has moved on, I am now finding means to fulfill this dream of mine. McKenzie nahi mila to kya hua. “Ram halwai” bi chalega. And the urge to get out of Infy has become stronger than ever.

So, SH fulfilled 2 dreams of his in the last few days- buying a four wheeler and driving it to his own marriage.

ASH wanted a change as well from watching TV, eating noodles and drinking soda; so he too decided to indulge in a few real pleasures of life; he decided to tie the knot. You might hear or spot a tiny Amrita Rao fart but hearing ASH flirting with a woman on phone for hours together is a rare phenomena. The guy who was a lambretta scooter till a few days back has just got transformed into a pulsar 220 and comes along the tag the “fastest Indian”. What I am saying is, he went 0-100 in 5 seconds leaving us all behind, defying all the dating laws to find someone who thinks he is her better half :p . On more serious thoughts. I wish best of luck to him and a happy married life in future, note; he is still in the Ladka-ladki-ko-jaane-le phase and would be married in a few weeks time.

As for SH, I just hope RS, his fiancee finds soon that he snores louder than a garbage truck, a lot of sleepless nights for her. And for SH the honey moon has just begun. Hope, you at least now stop watching re-runs of JWM. It was a stupid movie anyways with no logic nor a strong script with a valid reason for the story.

Talking of JWM, you know they say that the best way to forget an old crush of yours is to have a person to replace her/him. Shahid couldn’t ask for more when he found Kareena, I don’t know why did he even take so long to accept the babe in Kareena. It was nothing but 6 songs, 3 hour long sadness for Shahid and Kareena’s exaggerated way of proving herself. The directors always try to balance the hero-villain strengths and weakness. If the hero has killer looks, the villain has a sexy assistant by his side. If the hero is strong, the villain has a thousand goons to protect him. You get what I am saying? But here in JWM, the other guy Ashuthosh never had Shahid’s killer looks nor was blessed with an army. Hell, he wasn’t even financially strong like Shahid. What did Imtiaz Ali expect from the character of Kareena to quit an industrialist and marry a mediocre? The answer is clear, grab the industrialist’s son and kiss him in front of mediocre. Rude na …? Bad girl Kareena: P

Anyways, back to the main topic. I had the best of my friends as my roomies and I am sure, looking back now; I would say that this time of our lives, our first job, first few years after college and the initial taste of corporate life sure would go down making the memories nostalgic. At some point or other we have all been at the same turn in life; be it job transition, hikes, mid 20’s crisis or just plain work life attitude. It’s at this point, 3 plus years later that we would take different turns in life; different paths and I guess we have realized and learnt this in our own way. Hope we appreciate this time spent in shaping our lives and it’s for this reason I am sure we would also always say in touch.
Ueee ma .. ! I never knew I could be so profound. Don’t sweat this stuff if it does not make sense to you because those who have felt it; it would sure make lot of sense to them…

on that note:- I sign off !! I do not know if I have enough fuel to keep this blog active but I just hope that I return soon with different, small joys of life.

DJ night stories..

“Where’s the party tonight” shouted an excited SH as he descended down from his bedroom, all dressed up with multiple coatings of coconut oil, talcum powder, fairness creams and of course his set–wet very, very sexy deo. And in the continuation he squeaked “On the dance floor” and skipped the last 2 steps to throw his back pack on the table, on a Friday morning. His excitement is justified. He becomes all this excited every Friday morning in expectance of a DJ night in Infy, in the evenings. And if everyone from our room confirms their presence this “lakshmi” of our house lights an agarbtahi, breaks a coconut and wakes up everyone in the morning in his uncanny excitement.

Take 1: Now this man of small frame has a very noticeable yet infamous dancing history. Year 1996, I guess (SH can you confirm?), class 8, at a tender age of 13, SH had the audience roaring to his dance steps, innovation in choreography took a new meaning in the dance books and SH was the pioneer. Such is the feat of the man who jogs more than a mile every DJ night (I hear the boing sound!! LOL). I mean he tries something of the sort of a moon walk but then to one dancing close by it appears like a jog on the treadmill. It’s his trademark step. The last time we had an excited SH dancing and singing along with the remix of Kajra re, me and NG had to take a step out and burst out laughing. SH had one hand on his ear and the other in the mid-air and went two steps close to a girl from BPO; with closed eyes he was imagining himself as Tansen singing a Bollywood number luckily he didn’t get slapped by the girl whom he offended. And the legend still dances unperturbed

Take 2: Flash back: GE, this fellow is known for his dynamic entries during DJ nights. Year 2006, our first job and our first DJ night in Infy. Me and NG managed to overcome our incapability and were swaying to the tunes of a slow number in a corner. GE jumped out of nowhere and did this dance of which we dint understand a thing. He went into a frenzied mode of fits, shaking every limb of his body, he was out of control and the dance didn’t match the pace of the slow number even remotely. The world came to a standstill, people on the dance floor froze not in amazement but in disturbance of GE’s insanity, the DJ went dead, the music stopped; suddenly we were the attention of the world and there was silence, NG stopped dancing but GE went on like a machine, with his head down, eyes closed, teeth chattering, body shivering, shoulder banging inwards, neck rotating 360deg dance. The atrocious act of insanity came to a sudden stop only when GE no longer felt the phone in his pocket, he had lost it. The scratch sound came back, the DJ was alive, the disc started spinning, GE came to a stand-still this time and men and women started to dance again after prolonged stares. And we spent the rest of the night hunting for GE’s phone on the dance floor while he sat depressively calling up his mummy during his night shift.

Take 3: Zoom cameras!! Action! (In a tone reserved only for announcing movies on HBO)-The Man, the body, the color of the t-shirt and those unmatched dance moves on the dance floor, we welcome GA from pol-lachi. For all those junior dancers out there, you need to practice what GA does to become dancers of his caliber. Now let me just give a quick tuition through this blog. Step one: Project your left hand out. Step 2: Give a slight jerk to your projected hand and your chest. Step 3 and 4. Repeat the same on right side. At times to add sway and grace to your moves shake your legs as well. And to be noticeable please do dress up accordingly on DJ nights. A red t-shirt with a misdesigned Swiss flag on it will catch the attention of every girl who would have had GK as a subject in her school and knows exactly how a Swiss flag looks like. If not then she would get blinded by the red color and those killer shades.

Take 4: NG, this chap has extra-ordinary moves in his ammunition. Keep swaying at a gentle pace irrespective of the pace of the music, now put this swaying moves in a iterative loop and run it infinitely with circular referencing and pointers that point to the same move. You need to have great concentration to do this unstoppably for 3 hours. And at times when bored of running the same loop, stretch your neck to look at the waxed legs and arms of a being close by. Oh yes, please do remember to grin uncontrollably while you do the so called dance.

Take 5: Now what do I say about myself, I am the best these guys have, I am too modest to let any of the adulation climb up my head. The last time I danced there were 6 casualties around me, one wounded and 5 others seriously injured had to be rushed to the hospital. Such killer dance steps, but I never knew admiration could wound people. Guess being a fan too is not easy, hats off to all those wounded supporters who support me still.

ME is yet to loose his virginity on the dance floor although we have seen a small preview of him during one of our alcohol (read tea) parties, let me warn you, he has some juicy dance chops to flaunt with, that even include a strip-tease. I wonder how the Infy public will react to it if it was ever performed live. ASH has to learn to stop blocking the speakers every DJ night besides learning a few steps and playing in the hay. So... you go practice your animal moves while I just refine my moves to the song “Where’s the party tonight, on the dace floor”...

PS: Click on the link to watch the funniest dance video..

Pehchaan Kaun ??

I know, 25% of you would have been happier than usual during my long stint of absence, in the past 2 months, another 25% of you would have been jumping around with joy as though you scored a 100 percentile in CAT and yea the rest 49.9999% must have been celebrating thinking Mohit bhagwaan ko pyaara ho gaya. Saala, at last gayab toh hua, and would have spent thousands buying those cheap WWE postcards, mailing the news of my demise to you your worst enemies. Well to all I would say that it is too early to celebrate because I am back.I am in the ring to take another swing, this time rising like a phoenix from the graveyard on which your house stands today (seriously!! didn't you know your house stood on a graveyard?? Go dig it up to find carcasses). To a few misguided souls i.e. the remaining 0.1111% who read this nonsense and left a few comments here last time, I love you people. Please read this post of mine completely. :)

So, where was I so long, for so many days-missing! Well, they say when you are too confused in life you got to spend some time on your own to recuperate. Therefore that was all that I was doing all these days.

And I have been hanging around wearing shades all the time, inspired by this Telugu dude whom I met in the Andhra mess, very close to my house and as I had a small chat with this soon to be Telugu soap actor whose table manners incidentally had to be worse than mine, we made a mess on the table with the aloo curry and poories on a lazy Sunday morning and I found a reason or two for wearing sun glasses/shades or whatever you call them every time, all the time.


According to this actor 1) Wearing shades increases your marginal utility (economics class ki tuition shyaam ko 4 se 5 tak ) as a person and gives you the much required boost because you never know when you might get spotted by a Telugu director for an audition 2) It kind of darkens your view in a closed room like Andhra mess and kinda blinds you from a clean view of the kitchen here. Well, I always wondered why there was a dirty curtain hanging between the dining hall and the kitchen here, one peep inside through the tiny hole in the curtain is enough to make you feel you are pregnant and in the 5 month of pregnancy, puking stuff out 3)All popular Telugu actors constantly wear them all through-out the day be it Chiranjeevi, Venkatesh or Junior NTR. So, now I have made it a point to sleep with my shades on; you may never know, tomorrow you might spot me on E-tv and might also exclaim "Hai hai ni marjawa sweet lassi pi kar, ni ye kitna sona munda hain (Punjabi translation of what Telugu girls might exclaim) and I do not miss wearing them especially when I go to Andhra mess.


By the way from the time the owner of this mess has seen me having conversations with this soon to be Telugu actor,I have been getting complementary gifts in the form of extra poories for breakfast. I seriously do not know why this particular actor eats in this cheap place but it’s true that he enacts plays, serials etc the servers serve him with utter diligence and also wait patiently for tips. He has a Tata safari to his name and of course wears fast tracks goggles all the time.


Anyways a lot of water has flown under the bridge since my last post. I have now moved into a new flat, quite close to old, shaandaar, duplex apartment that I owned with my room mates; in fact I am jus next door to these old room mates of mine. GE is back from his pilgrimage (we do not call it an onsite assignment if it’s shorter than 4 months :)) and the GE law is already in place in our old house. This GE law was first introduced in the yr 2006, according to the GE law anything that stays motionless, stationary or still for more than 15 mins and continues to stay still with no intention of moving has to be loaded with some clothing of GE, GE's shirt, dhoti, lungi, underwear, socks et all. Human beings are no exception to this law and a snoring GA is always the target for ASH’s lungi. Visitors worry visiting our house and this explains one of the reasons why our numerous GFs prefer to meet us in Infosys rather than visiting our rooms. So while I move in with GE and ME in the new room me and ME face the challenge of our lives. We got to control this dude or inculcate the GE law in us.

Its jus three of us sharing a huge, massive, large 2 bedroom flat (in case u dint get the clue, we are all game for a fairer, waxed room mate, yes, especially the one smiling shyly at this line is whole heartedly invited to be our room mate) And there is no more of the morning-domestic-duties phobia hangover. Are you wondering what this morning-domestic-duties phobia is? Well, it’s a special kind of fear that arises out of a few things that happen in the morning rendering you incapable of committing yourself to your morning duties or making you do some water conservation like taking bath with half a bucket of water. These are things like the noisy fan coming to a stand still, and myriad rays of sun piercing our room through the windows making GA to stop his snores midway, ASH's dreams taking a violent turn and NG waking up with an explosion throwing up a few pillows around buried under which he sleeps everyday, Me, banging hard at the bathroom door and a grinning SH sinks even lower in his bath tub. And as the tap starts hissing, clearing its throat of dryness, a violent turn of events just then take place, NG and ASH collide running out of their bedrooms, a bouncy ASH sends NG bouncing back into his room and he himself tumbling down the stair case approaching the bathroom door with a knock so loud that would send an already troubled me into the hai-mujhe-koi-aisne-dekh-na-le-where-is-my-towel mode, fearing the break of the bathroom door, I hnad it over to a glaring ASH. Well, yes the events have been a little exaggerated to the extent of showing a fat Amrita Rao to look like slim Adnan Sami yet this is what an outsider would contemplate if he had heard the fights that take place in our flat on the account of using the bathroom first and these are the things that send me into a phobia, constipating me and allowing me to save precious water.

So while I am now free from all this, I also fear the doomsday when ME would break his consistency of waking up late and in an attempt to show consistency in increasing the number of hours he spends in bathroom would occupy it for eternity. GE and I, as usual have been adjusting dudes, we just blow up the whole bathroom with a few grenades and huge amounts of anger :D. I guess this, like the GE’s law is also a common problem in bachelor rooms all over the world.

We have also got 2 speakers now, thanks to GE on which I play my music on, flaunting around with the collection I have on my I pod. It took 1 whole month of refined, polished rock music to develop the taste buds of GE and ME for pink flyodish kind of music and make their kouthu music tilted ears to listen to the leads of Slash and Joe Perry. Now, ME asks for Bryan Adams and GE asks for Guns and Roses. Keep it up machas, keep improving, pretty soon you would feel curious about the feats achieved by Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton.By the way are you people interested in gazals? I have few, shall i play them ?? :)

So bhai logs thats pretty much that has been happening in my life. I do intend to get in touch with fellow bloggers soon :) Will read all your posts from top to bottom, till then aap IPL dekho aur main dektha hoon FRIENDS STAR WORLD par before anyone else shoots me and snatches the remote from my hand ;)